What's in a Name?

It's been a while since I posted, so let's recap...

First off, my name is Mi'el and that means honey. Probably because of my eye color, but it means something a little more to me personally. My soul has an energetic signature that is like a very gentle swarm of bees, so that my incarnated self would be a creation of a swarm of bees is perfectly fitting. I'm not changing that. The symbology is great.

What I might change is going from a "flying squirrel" to a "honey badger". That feels more fitting for this personality given all that I've been through, yet I'm still very sweet.

It's very funny to me to watch all the videos posted on FlyingSquirrel's channel, because I listen to myself there and think "I am literally that guy just in a different shape." Except, I also notice my views about things have evolved considerably. Which is good! They needed some refinement. I was clearly having trouble deciding who I was to myself, which is understandable when you're a big blue light being trying to fit into a teeny, tiny Taygetan body.

I am given to understand I had major issues with expressing emotions to others, and especially with receiving love from others. This is something I've been working on personally for the 2 years here. The best way to receive love from others is to love yourself, and I really have had to learn to love myself and all its idiosyncracies. Now, I'm learning to love myself in a very different way, by loving and accepting myself no matter what gender I'm expressing.

What soul gets to say they had that experience in a single lifetime! Not many!

That said, my friends, I'm pretty relaxed when it comes to jokes and being teased. Please do not joke about this. It's actually quite painful to me right now. Because I didn't choose to be this way. I was forced to be this way. (As I write this, the cells of my physical body are realizing what my soul expression has been forced to be and endure. They are in a small amount of shock.)

So, let's address that. What the fuck happened to me?

Here's what I understand:

I was going on mission to Armenia to curse-break alone (this doing missions alone thing is stopping pronto), and found myself in a national park. I want to say it was Shikahogh State Reserve. Something about that feels right. While I was sleeping in the forest, I was captured, taken to a DUMB, given a mercury implant, shoved into a med pod, and put into immersion. This med pod is one of those Cabal med pods, and knowing my abilities (or potential) I think they wanted to make me into a super soldier.

(I am worried there may be clones of me... This is something to seriously consider.)

While in the immersion experience, they made me female, made me forget ever being a Taygetan, put me in a family with a narcissistic mother and an emotionally unavailable father (which is the opposite of my real father), and proceeded to astrally torture me every single night as a child. I was chased by demons. Attacked by bees. Raped multiple times (to the point where my perceived girl body actually got an infection as if that really happened). Forced to watch my family be murdered. Caught up in terrible storms. You name it, it happened. And as I grew older and more spiritual, I was gaslit, demeaned, discarded over and over again. While I started to fight back in dreams, in perceived physical here comes the New Age crew to program me into believing that I chose this experience. That I was choosing to be tortured and I should be grateful for the lessons.

No, my soul did not choose this experience, but my soul is a veritable badass and will take advantage of any opportunity presented. This presented a very interesting opportunity and challenge--because overcoming it meant the very survival of itself as a soul and my own body.

I do not know what experiments they did to my body. They might have gone and activated all my DNA for me (thank you!), but in their attempt to push my soul out of my body, I kept a little fragment inside myself. Somewhere in my brain in a spot that wasn't touched by the mercury is a protective cyst. Inside that cyst, I put my soul energy. So, they never succeeded in kicking me out.

Now, here's where there's a bit of irony. In their attempts to abuse me into submission, my soul decided "Okay, you want a super soldier? I'll give you a super soldier." And it proceeded to make all the subtle changes here to my consciousness to open up all those abilities. It's why I "dabble" in so many things. That's my soul opening an ability in the dense, immersed reality. When you do that, it magnifies its power in lighter densities.

My soul is awesome like that.

Right, so there's that.

I don't know if this is what happened, but I suspect that somebody (that sure as shit wasn't me) went and told Mari that I decided to go into immersion. "Bye Mari, see you next lifetime!" When I would not have done such a thing. I loved Mari so much, I made my female self talk like her. So at least every time I talked, I'd hear her voice. (Though I forgot that until just a little bit ago when I heard her voice and compared sounds.) This is how deep Mi'el's feelings for her actually go. He just didn't express them very well at the time. I'm going to change that, because life is too short to not tell your most cherished person you love them every single day.

So, where am I now?

I know my body was recovered in an operation. I know during the operation, the med pod was bumped against something--because I woke up with bruised ribs over here. (This body mirrors the physical body.) I know dad was there and my best friend was there, and I felt very safe the entire time. Soul tells me it's important you know this--that my body felt friends and relaxed.

Now, I'm on the Enterprise, and Mari/everyone is keeping a look out for me to start moving. (I'm trying to move things! Is it working?) This self is starting to seat into the body. I can feel a tingling slowly going up my legs, so we're going feet first. It's right below my knees right now as I write this and slowly creeping upward.

And where did the FlyingSquirrel go?

He's in the etherized expression of this greater self. He is water now and a part of the "soup" that makes up my soul. He'll always be here just as he was always there for me while I've been in immersion. I've been hearing his voice all my "life" in my heart, trying to come through. Trying to break through the illusion. I hope to honor his life and carry on his mission to help the children. He cared a lot about them and wanted to help. With what I can do, I can help them a lot. I can go save them.

That's why I renamed my fish Mii'e to Mizu. Mizu is "water" in Japanese. And he is surrounded by ghost shrimp friends. You see the symbology I do without even knowing it until I've done it?

Besides, "Mii'e" was my soul trying to say "MIA" but not really being clear. I am not MIA anymore. I am home now.

So call me Mi'el.

Thank you to all of my fellow Taygetans who helped effect this rescue of myself. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart. Even those of you who I don't even know yet as friends, I would count you as such. I love you all so much. You are all amazing and fantastic people who deserve the very best in your lives forever. Thank you.

I thank you for your time. Adiamas.

​--Mi'el