The Promise Written on My Heart...

​"I will see these wonders some day."

When I was 7, my parents had a large, blue world atlas book. It contained all the maps of all the countries in the world including contour maps of the bottom of the ocean. When I wasn't puzzling over the bottom of the ocean, something deeply fascinating to me, I was looking at the very front of the book. At the very front of the book was a stellar map. A map of the galaxy. A map of constellations in the sky. The map of the galaxy had a tiny pinpoint that said "Earth" on the outer limb. Just to show how huge the galaxy is. How full of promise of wonders.

In my heart I said, "I will see these wonders some day."

I got a constellation map a few years later. One of those glow in the dark ones. I used to have mom order "fact files" little pages of data on various subjects. I had many binders full for animals and dinosaurs. Before we moved, I was getting started on space. I would look at depictions of pulsars, nebulas, black holes, and wonder. "What's at the event horizon of a black hole?"

In my heart I said, "I will see these wonders some day."

After graduating from college, a reiteration of the show Cosmos came out with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Every time I watched an episode, I would find myself crying. Not out of sadness, but out of sheer ripping awe of the magnificence of Creation. I would just get overwhelmed with emotion. Completely bowled over. It doesn't matter to me if those images were actual depictions of phenomena in space or made up CGI. Doesn't matter. Not one bit. It fed my imagination, and called up memory that I didn't know was memory.

In my heart I said, "I will see these wonders some day."

And as I awakened as a starseed. As I remembered that I have seen those wonders already, it only solidified the promise written in my heart that THESE eyes and THIS body and THIS specific self will see those wonders some day. That my soul wrote that promise on my heart, because it wants to experience space as if it were new. As if it were brand new and shining to this very old and ancient soul. It wants to feel young again. It wants to feel like a pioneer again.

Now we are at the cusp of it. I am dreaming of the circumstances in which it is possible to see those wonders. I dream of being on ships. I dream of how I get there. Of who is there. Of what is there. And I know that the promise written on my heart will be fulfilled well before this body is old and tired.

I don't care what anyone says. Somehow, some way... "I will see these wonders some day."