The Hardest Pattern to Break

Here's the hardest pattern for me to break at this time. Maybe some of you will resonate with this.

First off, I love tarot readings. I have a specific way my spirit team and I have designed so I always get exactly the catalytic phrase or concept I need at any moment. Whether it's me doing the reading or someone else doing the reading. There's a clairaudient skill that helps with this. Basically, whenever I'm listening to someone else doing a reading, certain phrases stick out. Stand right out. It can happen with anything, but a tarot reader is already in the astral realm channeling so it's faster, clearer, easier.

Today, it was about the "hardest karmic pattern to break". Now, the pattern described in the reading was not for me. Not my pattern. But I felt that phrase standing out like a bump on a sheet of Braille. So, I went and asked my soul what that pattern is. And I went "Ooh, I should share this, because I bet a lot of people do this."

Remember how my childhood programmed me to attend to others' feelings before others even knew they had them? This pattern relates to that.

The pattern is this:

I have a tendency to rush in to attend to people when they are feeling anxious or experiencing internal conflict.

When what I should do is sit back, wait patiently, and let them sort it out themselves. Rushing in disrupts the transformational process and inhibits their own growth. If I remove their internal resistance, they don't grow from that resistance. And I am excellent at removing people's internal resistance for them. It's magical. But unnecessary and an abuse of that ability when used in that manner. They must ask me first. I cannot anticipate it for them. They have to ask.

I know why I rush in. It's because I feel their pain as my pain, and I don't like feeling pain. Even though I can endure lots of pain, I still don't enjoy it and so prefer to avoid it or mitigate it in my reality as much as possible.

This all goes back to loving detachment.

And I happily admit this is easier said than done. I get better all the time. My reaction is less of a knee jerk, and I'm learning how to be in my own energy even if someone else close to me is feeling pain. I'm learning how not to become everybody's emotions all the time. (Only when I want to because it's pleasurable or I am specifically asked.)

But the pattern is not yet broken. I know it will be broken in time, and the very fact that I said, "Ooh! That's exciting to know!" means we're close to breaking it. You only feel that excited curiosity when something is close to releasing and being gone from you forever. That's why you get excited about it.

I thank you for your time. Adiamas.

​--Kyriel