Storytime: Penniless French Woman

 This memory coincided with the release of a deep-seated fear of losing my job. There's significantly less detail in this memory as it was offered more as an explanation for why that fear existed and where it came from.

The Memory

Sometime in the 1800's, I was a woman working in a factory in France. I was fired from my job, and found myself penniless and living on the streets. I had no home. No place warm to go. I had to do unsavory things just to get food, and there were plenty of people who enjoyed me doing unsavory things for them.

The entire episode is filled with darkness, fear, and despair.

Eventually, I get sick in the winter and die in a hospital, or some other kind of place of healing. I remember being cared for by nuns, who were the only light in my world at that time.

I had no children as far as I know. Nor any husband--if I did, he wasn't around when I was working in the factory.

---

How It Arrived

Throughout most of my life, I've had this abject terror of losing my job and finding myself penniless. A lot of people have this fear, but this would rear its head in the most unlikely of situations. I'd get afraid of losing my job when it made absolutely no sense. This has led me to be a bit of a people-pleaser throughout much of my work life, though in recent years that has changed quite a bit.

Anyway, one day, when this fear reared its head and I was filled with abject terror, I looked that fear in the face and wanted to know all about it. Clearly, this fear contained information that I needed to know, otherwise it wouldn't keep rising up and smacking me over the head.

I was eating lunch that day when I asked out loud, "Higher self, show me the life where this fear of losing my job comes from." And boom, there it was. The memory above plopped right into my brain as a "movie" I watched without any particular emotion. I said to myself, "Oh, well that makes sense. What did I learn?"

My higher self replied, "Survival. Tenacity. Gratitude."

To which I said, "I would like to absorb those lessons and release that life, please." Which is exactly what happened. I felt the energy of that experience flow into my body, and I felt the fear begin to leave. It took a few weeks before the pattern was completely released, but it has since ceased to randomly plague me as it used to.