Reconfiguration

I am currently in the process of realigning every vision I had as a future memory and placing it in the correct position: recent past memory.

For example... There was a vision I had in June 2023 one night of Seraphel showing me a ship. He'd designed it just for me. It was matte black with blue accent lights, shaped roughly like a leaf. I called it the "Kota" after the Kota people in Africa and a specific knife they had. This knife is a punch dagger designed for concealing and using quickly and it's shaped like the ship.

When I thought about that ship, I also thought of the "subtle knife" from a book of the same title (The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman). The subtle knife is not inherently a sharp knife. In fact, it's useless in combat by any random person. But when placed in the hands of someone with the ability to focus their consciousness, it can cut through any substance as well as slice right through reality to open a portal.

The ship has the technological capability to do just that. It's a "covert ops" vessel designed not so much for combat, but for going places other ships have difficulty maneuvering to. It's a "portal ship". A ship designed for navigating the astral. And it is not a Suzy but something specially designed.

I noticed Mari has been putting that ship in thumbnails recently. That's not exactly as I envisioned it, but that's very close. I suppose it's been "dry docked" in the Toleka City spaceport for a while (do you have little robots that dust it?), but given Mari put it in the thumbnails she's seen it herself.

So, to my friend (who I think is CIC11 and manifests as "B H") who asked "What's the name of your ship?", SS Kota is the name of my ship. By the way, you are very funny! I see now what you've been doing this whole time. Trying to get me to remember...or rather embrace what I already know. What you know I already know somewhere in this mind. Did you know I have magnetized a number of "crusty old bastards" into my sphere while I've been on Earth? That personality type just kept appearing into my life as a colleague or acquaintance. So, when I encounter you, I think "This is such a familiar personality. My goodness. I almost know exactly what he's going to say next."

Too bad I was so shy about coming right out and saying such things earlier. Is it the pod programming? Or it is having been on Earth where that kind of thing is a societal "no-no"? Most likely both.

What side of the ship am I on? I'm not on a ship. I'm underground. But when I WAS on a ship, I was on the side that faced Venus rather than Earth. I used to see the sunrise on Venus, and sometimes it would go from being the size of a golf ball to the size of a kickball--then the sunrise was gorgeous.

And my quarters were about the size of this apartment. I even remember how the bathroom was configured. And I had a library. Stupidly giant closet. All sorts of cultural gifts from different stellar cultures that I'd collected over the years. Things I eventually put in my house on Erra in a museum of sorts.

There was this gold statue from the Urmah of one of their explorers. He was a leopard who mapped the Hyades. A sword from the Sirians. Straight, double-edged and designed like Chinese swords. It was so light to wield. A mantle-cloak from the Engans that was edged in silver fox fur. They gave that to me when I moved to Erra, because they knew it'd be cold and I should be warm. And many others from many other cultures.

Interstellar anthropology was a hobby of mine. I don't remember right now how or why I got these things. I must have done something helpful to be given such wonders.

You know, maybe this is why it surprises me that interstellar people don't talk to each other more. Maybe it's because I was one of those people that travelled a lot and wanted to know everything about everyone.

The house... There was a courtyard with a really lovely flower garden. And behind the house was a vegetable garden that backed up to the pine forest. There were giant windows that looked out over the lake and the valley it created. The "front yard" was a meadow. At the bottom of the bluff on the lake shore was a village. I could see it from the windows or the meadow. There was a hot spring cave nearby, I think. In the forest. I've seen that in my mind a lot. A cave that has a hot spring in it that looks out into trees. I put golden lights inside the cave.

Hmm. When I first started meditating and using Brad Johnson's techniques, part of the technique was to create a place that felt like "home" inside yourself. A sanctuary you could go to. Now I realize...what I created was the place where my house was. I literally manifested my actual home from memory.

Do I still have that house? I remember thinking over the last year, "Mari needs a place to go when she's tired of queening. I would let her stay at my house if she liked. I'd let any of my friends stay there when they're tired actually."

Sidebar... Mari, who were you in the most recent past life? Before you were Mari? Did we know each other?

No...I know who you were. Hadar was this lifetime. Hadar was you previous life, me this life. Very early on. I was a student in my 30's and I hadn't met up with Seraphel yet. I went to learn about a healing modality. We fell in love and were together a while. It was completely unexpected--you have been completely unexpected this lifetime. Not once but twice! Then Kyriel's storyline kicked in, Seraphel showed up, and we broke up. I broke your heart, and I am still sorry about that. It still hurts to think about, but it hurts a bit less than it did.

For what it's worth, I think I've been rewriting the Kyriel template's story while I've been here in the astral. I will keep the concept "Kyriel always goes home to the stars." But I'm going to leave open who I go home with. That was perhaps a restriction that allowed for too many relationship patterns to fester and restricted soul growth for a while.

You know, when I was a teenager, I used to have this funny fantasy that I was in some underground facility contained like I was an experiment. Like Logan from X-Men. And that one day I'd escape and go wreak havoc. That while I was kept in my tube (sometimes I saw it like a big tube that glowed turquoise), I'd been growing like some weird embryo and when I'd wake up I'd have all sorts of super powers I didn't have before.

I have never told anyone about that fantasy. I kept it in my head, because, well, you tell your friends that sort of thing. They'd call you a "weirdo".

Well, that's enough wool-gathering for today. Now it's time for breakfast. Then a walk. Then I think this afternoon I'll watch Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. By the way, I love Mantis. I just want to pick her strange little alien self up and take her to experience all the things she didn't get to experience. She's so cute with her big giant dark eyes. And the little feathery antenna are adorable.

And I feel like I know someone who is like Drax, because there's a great fondness for that personality. Hmmm... There's a reason you wanted me to watch those movies, Mari. Especially now. Probably something like the people I know the most are like the characters in the movies. That these are the energies of my friends.

Personally, for me, I feel most like Peter Quill. Right down to the Walkman and dancing through a creepy ruin to get an artifact (or doing something silly and comedic to distract an entity). I'm pretty sure this is what I do in the astral. A lot.

I thank you for your time. I love you. Adiamas.

--Kyriel