On Being a Shapeshifter

Today I want to talk about what it means to know yourself when you're able to shift your energetic field so dramatically. What color is the chameleon when there's nothing to blend with?

While on some layer of existence, this shapeshifting for me can be quite literal, in that I can make my body be whatever I tell it to be at any moment at the drop of a hat, I want to discuss more how this relates to a generalized experience in your standard Fifth Density physical body and lower. At those density ranges, this tends to express as an ability to shift my energetic field at the drop of hat. To shift my personality.

I am the type of person that can become whatever you need me to be very easily. I've done it to people please, to fit in, to blend in. I don't do that anymore these days. There are a number of reasons why I used to do that, and I'll not go into them, because this post is not about those reasons.

What I describe above is the shadow expression of that ability. This is what happens when you don't use it ethically. You people please until you obliterate yourself, or use it to manipulate other people until you obliterate yourself. The end result is the same: obliteration of self. This isn't like an ego death. It's masking the ego entirely so you don't even know what your ego is. You obliterate your own ego, and not in a way that provides growth. Instead, it throws the ego into unconsciousness. Not good. You do not want the ego hanging out in the unconscious. That's a dangerous place for it to be.

Suffice to say, I can express whatever facets, combination thereof, are needed to blend in to whatever group I'm in. This ability comes from many lifetimes on Earth as a starseed and needing to "become one" with whatever culture I'm a part of. Since I have been so many things and so many people, it's not hard to do. I'm quite the complex being when you get right down to it.

As a result, I can relate to damn near anyone of any species, race, or galaxy-of-origin you can imagine. This is the positive expression of this ability. Being able to relate to everyone because I can become anyone is the proper use of this power. Instead of obliterating myself with a mask, I use the ability to become another facet to create a bridge between me and the other person. This bridge then allows the actual expression of my true self to transmit clearly to the other being.

But who am I when I'm not doing that?

Oh, that's been a trick and a half to figure out. To figure that out, I look back to childhood in this lifetime, because the more I look at this particular childhood, the more I see how magical I really am as a being. And to find these expressions of unfiltered self, I just look at what I was thinking about and doing when I finally believed nobody was looking.

When nobody was looking, I would:

• Sing all the time, sometimes even dance
• Examine seemingly random objects as if they were the most fascinating things in existence
• Laugh for apparently no discernable reason
• Astral project and go places that I may or may not remember
• Talk to animals
• Make friends with flowers and plants
• See inside objects, especially living being's bodies
• Build villages for fairies and leprechauns
• See, and sometimes touch, energies around me
• Make what I was reading in a book so real in my head that I could go inside the book and live the story (sometimes I would stop reading for a full hour and just be inside the story-world playing around in there--I still do this)

Many of these things I got caught doing by adults. They often worried about me. The things that worried people the most were the astral projecting, seeing inside objects, and seeing energies. Not because I would tell anyone that's what I was doing. They were worried, because I would be very far away and gone when I would do that. It's why adults thought I was having seizures or was autistic or had some other psychological-neurological problem.

When what was truly happening was simple dissociation and self-hypnosis.

(I have never gone on stage with a hypnotist and never will for damn good reason. I can hypnotize myself so easily, someone else would make mince meat of me. If I can create so powerful a suggestion to distract my sense of self for a full hour inside a book-world, like what could someone else do to me?)

If I were to distill all this down to a personality, it would be something like this:

I am someone who is intuitive, passionate, expressive of what I experience, and adventurous.

At the end of the day, this is who I am at the core. This is the self I obliterated for a long time, because what I experience scares Earth humans. What I am passionate about is not always Earth-friendly. My intuition scares people, too, because I can see into them when I look at them. And my adventurousness was seen as dangerous to others, because it often had no care about convention or what is seen as "proper".

Yet in order to fit in this lifetime, I had to obliterate that self or else face physical annihilation (rejection by my family).

In order to resurrect this obliterated self, I have to go back to when that happened and revive the child that was frightened into hiding itself. And reviving that child means becoming that child again. This is why inner child work is so important to me.

Until that process is complete, however, I do not always know precisely who I am. As I slowly discard all the facets I've worn because I no longer require them, I sometimes find myself naked without a sense of self. It's a little scary sometimes.

Who is Kyrie? What does she want? What does she like? When nobody's looking, what does she want to do?

I don't always know. I wasn't given much of a chance to know. And that doesn't just come from this lifetime. That comes from many recent Earth lifetimes--there was a long spate of incarnating on Earth many times in a row. This is where that problem developed. As a soul, I do not recommend any stellar soul incarnating too many times in a row on Earth. Give yourself a break and go be with your stellar people every once in a while. Earth can make you lose sense of yourself in a semi-permanent way. The forgetting starts to settle in as a soul-level pattern, and that is not something you want.

Thankfully, off-Earth lifetimes didn't have this problem. I didn't have to obliterate myself. That actually sounds quite absurd when I shift my perspective to the stellar one. Like why would I do that? That sounds silly.

So, I can use those lifetimes to help inform this lifetime self. Just like I can use the "when nobody's looking" perspective from childhood and other lifetimes to inform this lifetime self.

I thank you for your time. Adiamas.

​--Kyriel