Memory

Memory for me works a little differently than most people I've encountered. I have, however, encountered some people who remember things the way I do. Who also dream the way I do, too, which is to say in full color and like you're watching a movie. I was blessed to meet someone in college who did that.

So, what do I mean?

Well, most people I've encountered remember events very singularly and specifically. Each event is like a photograph in their brain, a holographic one they can dive into and go be there again at the time of the event. All the sequences are the same. All the details are there.

I find this ability to remember things so specifically remarkable and miraculous. You may say, "Why? That's how I remember my life." Yes, well, I remember my life differently. My memory is less specific. I find your ability to be specific in a memory fascinating, and if I'm having a bad day, maybe a little bit enviable.

You know how I'll write stories here of past lives, and it's a bit of a summary about a typical pattern of that life? Like I can't tell you specifically about a day and what I ate. I can tell you the kinds of things I ate. Well, that happens with this lifetime, too. I cannot always give you the specific details about a specific day. Not even the day I got married is specified. Nor the day I got my first dog. And the first day I went to school? I barely even remember that other than one view of sitting on a bus looking out the back window and seeing my grandma's face through the dirty window. That's all.

Instead, what I have is an energetic summary of either that day or a series of days that were just like it. I remember exactly how I felt at major moments, but I have a hard time landing myself completely in my shoes at that moment and telling you what perfume my aunt was wearing. (Though now that I'm sitting and thinking about it, I remember generally the perfume she liked to wear.) Nor could I tell you exactly what I said or my groom said or my mom said. I have a couple of flashes of moments, but they are still pictures and clips, not a full movie. Just small moments.

It means when I remember an event, that memory is slippery. It's not always going to be exactly the same, because I'm having to reread the energy of the event. And, since I am reading the energy of the event and not the actions, I perceive the memory differently every single time I access it.

I don't know why it is I do this. Maybe it keeps me from getting overwhelmed by information from this lifetime and previous lifetimes. I know it's frustrating to people with specific memory. I get it. You want me to remember exactly what you said. Unfortunately, my brain doesn't record that data. It records how you were feeling with great accuracy, though. It will record how I felt when you looked at me and said what you said. It will record the concept being presented. It'll also record what you were doing. It just won't record the words exactly. Nor what you were wearing with detail. But it'll record the look in your eyes. Of all the specificity, people's eyes come through the clearest.

It also means I can't memorize things worth a damn. So don't bother trying to get me to do it. I will always only have the summary of whatever it is I need to do. Thankfully, I've done enough things in my many existences that I can piece together other memories to construct a new one with the new info and get along okay.

This is why physical muscle memory is incredibly important to me. If I can physically remember the motions of what I was doing, I can actually remember all the data surrounding that. So, if you're teaching me to fly a fighter craft, I have to fly the damn thing. I can't just memorize things out of a book. I have to do it. Here's why:

In school, this is how I got around actually memorizing things. My ability to hone in on muscle memory is such that when I would repeatedly write my notes down on a white board, erasing it every time the board was full, I found that I could access the full visual picture of the notes I wrote. I had a screenshot of the notes. So, when I had a test and I needed to remember data, I'd go back to when I was writing that section, pull up my mental screenshot, and feel for the data in that screenshot. That way, I had an exact copy of my notes, but it was recorded in connection to my physical actions at the time.

This is also the only way I get specific memory. If I can remember exactly the physical motions of my body in conjunction with the energy of that moment, I can pull more of the specific data. It takes longer, but I don't know, maybe it's just as good in the end.

Anyway, I thought that'd be an interesting exploration into a different way memories are recorded and accessed by the soul. Everybody has different settings for their incarnated self, and there's always a reason for it. Usually and emotional one. Like, if you're someone with specific memory this lifetime, I bet it's because you're going to have really specific experiences that will shape you and you need to be able to recall those experiences in total on command.

But if you have general memory like I do, maybe it's because your whole life pattern will be the thing that shapes you. Therefore, you are asked to remember the pattern instead of the detail.

Fascinating stuff. I could spend a lifetime, and have, just exploring why souls do the things they do. Why you choose the settings you choose. This is one of my favorite things to think about by far. It occupies a lot of my mental bandwidth, actually. Life is a fascinating study. I am forever in awe of its variety and brilliance. Just when I think I understand something, there's another corner to turn and another place to expand. After all, the only time you're done expanding is when you've merged with Source itself and no longer concern yourself with incarnating.

I thank you for your time. Adiamas.

--Kyriel