Lessons from Earth: Loving Detachment

One of the hardest things I have learned how to do is to lovingly detach from people and beings. To allow them to have their negative emotions and experiences without interfering.

Loving detachment is necessary for living a balanced life, whether on Earth, in space, on another planet, or while hanging upside down over a fire surrounded by tiny weasel people who want to eat you. After all, you must lovingly detach yourself from the deaths they are all about to face, because being roasted is not a part of your particular itinerary for that day and you don't speak Weaslish.

That said, let's look at how life can look without loving detachment. Then we'll look at what it's like when that same life has been rebalanced.

Without Detachment

When you fail to lovingly detach from those around you (and this can form as a habit due to numerous traumas and experiences), you become enmeshed in their energy fields. While oneness is something we all desire to feel, this is an unhealthy level of oneness. Your needs cease to matter and all that matters is the other's needs. This is a particularly common issue with empaths, especially those beings out there who are exceptionally empathic and not only feel emotions, but also entire energy fields and the physical sensations happening in the other's body.

This is not saying there is anything wrong with having those experiences. Actually, they are very lovely and wonderful to have. However, you still must know where you end and they begin because you have a physical body and that's part of being a physical being. Failing to establish some sort of boundary leads to the following:

• Intense people-pleasing tendencies
• Physical dis-ease
• Exhaustion
• Not getting your own needs met
• Dissatisfaction and low-grade resentment (often pushed down into the unconscious, because this is not a glamorous emotion to look at)
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Overthinking
• Imbalanced and disharmonious relationships
• Enabling others' bad habits and addictions

This enmeshment manifests often as you going out of your way to make sure some other being isn't being hurt or left wanting in any way. I say "some other being", because this can happen not just between you and another person. It can happen between you and a pet, you and your relationship to the animal kingdom, you and your relationship to plants. Or a planet. Or a star. I mean, if it's conscious, this enmeshment can happen.

While on the surface, this desire to be of service and be loving to another sounds great, you actually do a disservice to the people you think you are healing or helping. By failing to allow them to have negative experiences, you actually prevent them from growing as souls. You can't prevent your adorable child from falling down and scraping their knee. It's going to happen. You have to allow for such things like that to happen. Likewise, you cannot stop your friend from feeling sad and depressed when someone close to them dies or they are going through a hardship. They have to go through the sadness and depression. It's part of the healing process.

What you can do is be there to help them stand back up when they look to you for a helping hand. You can have the bandages ready. If we're talking about an animal/plant you need to eat to live, you can wish their spirit well as you honorably end their life. Give them gratitude and love, and let them know how much they mean to you. (The American Indians on Earth do very well with this ritualistically.)

With Detachment

When you learn to lovingly detach from those around you, when you determine where you end and someone else begins, you'll find your energy levels are overall improved. Your emotions are stabilized. Your physical health is stronger and you have greater endurance for handling stress. Those around you facing the hardship successfully get through their hardship and become stronger. Your bond becomes stronger. Both of you become stronger, because you give each other room to take up the space you each need.

​You also gain better perspectives about the situation you just witnessed. Because you didn't get drowned by someone else's experience, your soul gains wisdom from just witnessing that experience. You grow, because the other person grows.

You also find your needs are being properly met, which just improves the entire situation.

It Will Never Be Easy

I had a realization that loving detachment will never, ever be easy for me. It will always hurt a little bit to detach and witness someone or something experience pain and negative emotions. It will always hurt a little bit just to detach in the first place! Because I enjoy the feeling of oneness. It feels good to blend energy fields, and there's nothing wrong with that when it's a healthy kind of oneness.

So, I tell you this, my beloved empathic friends and family, it will always hurt. It will never be easy to do this. You will always have to make the choice to detach. It will always be something you have to do consciously.

For what it's worth, which is a lot, I see this as a good thing. I means you aren't going to automatically become someone who is emotionally unavailable. It will always be a choice to make. A breath you have to take. An intention you have to consciously set.

I thank you for your time. Adiamas.

--Kyriel