How Do I Write?

How do I write all these posts? Do I script them out? Do I sit and think about them specifically? Do I put a blindfold on a slap the keyboard? Do I ask my cat to do the job? Sacrifice a chicken and commend it to the post?

That last one I have not done this lifetime, but I know there was at least one where animal sacrifice was involved before "fortune telling". Hey, it was the way we did things back then! I tried doing it without the sacrificial nonsense, and nobody believed a word I said! They just brushed it off as Helena being weird again. It wasn't until I added the execution of what I was going to cook for dinner that it became believable. You add a little blood and guts, and all the sudden everybody's like "Oh, that's a soothsayer right there. We better listen."

The things you do to seed minds...

So, what do I actually do to write these posts?

Most of the time, I wait for an idea before I start writing. This is why sometimes there won't be a post for days. I just don't have anything I or my soul wants to say at the moment. Then, there's a burst of stuff all at once.

I don't usually actively think about the subject very deeply. I just get the idea, and then the post just starts writing itself in my head. I hear it being read to me as if it's already been written. Or I see it on a screen as if I'm already reading it. So, when I sit down to write, all I'm doing is bringing through something that already exists.

Of course it doesn't always turn out the way I first heard it read or saw it, and that's okay. We have to adapt it from wherever I'm pulling the information from to this moment. That's always going to be a little different. My art works this way, too. This is also how I paint. I see the finished painting, and then it's like I rewind the painting backwards in my mind to see how it was made. Then I do what I observed. A bit like this Coldplay song where everything goes backwards.

(I first saw this music video when it came out, and boy did I cry. It was sad. Now I listen to it and there's a whole different layer of meaning, because 'Yanna sent this to me. So I apply a different filter. 5:5)

I didn't realize this was how I wrote or painted until I made this construct. Now, it's like I can see how everything happens for me. My general conclusion thus far is, "Man, I do things really weird compared to most people." But it works and it's remarkably efficient.

Right then, so I get the idea, I hear the finished post before it's even written, and then I just make it what I experienced. I usually prefer to sit at my desk to write, though I have sometimes lounged on the couch to do it. There's always music playing. Today, I'm listening to some VVM Lofi. It needs to be music without lyrics so the lyrics don't become entangled with the part of my brain that uses language. I can activate the music part and the language part at the same time, because language is music put to words. That actually helps the channeling process. If there are lyrics, though, it's like two people trying to use the same kitchen appliance at the same time.

I can't have many distractions when I do this, so if there's stuff happening around me (like Eddie being in the room moving around, the train blaring its horn, or just loud noises), I have to wait for things to quiet before I can keep going. Today, I put Eddie in the bedroom and shut the door, because he is obsessed with going out into the hallway to hunt astral creatures. He won't stop lurking at the door to the apartment and begging to go out. He cannot go out.

Sometimes I'm a little slow about realizing things about myself and accepting them. One thing I am needing to accept right now is that I cannot stand distractions when I'm thinking or channeling. It instantly pushes my buttons and irritates me. I don't know why this is just yet. It's something about my mind being clear of noise, and I have it held in a perfectly balanced state of active-inactive-open. The second activity starts happening, my mind is thrown out of that balance, the wrong systems rev up and get going, and it's noisy all over again.

--

It's why I really dislike "brainstorming sessions" at work. Um, no. My brain doesn't storm and it certainly doesn't work the way theirs does. Let me go sit down for 5 minutes, and I will have crunched through the problem and come up with an idea to solve it. Don't make me sit in a group and "think collaboratively". My brain doesn't brain that way. Sorry. In fact, sitting in a group just means I end up hearing everybody's thoughts and I can't hear my own for all the noise.

And does anybody believe me when I tell them what I just told you? Nope. They insist I must participate in the brainstorming session. Even if it's pointless and it all goes down like this:

"Kyrie, what do you think?"

A moment of panic as I realize I wasn't thinking, but feeling everybody instead.

"Um..." {{ Just channel back something they said. }} "Well doing it the way so-and-so suggested is a reasonable approach. We could start there and work our way outward."

The Eye of Sauron moves away. I sigh in relief. Later I come up with the real solution and look like a frelling genius. But in the group setting, I'm herpa-derp-derp useless except as a cognitive amplifier. I just sit there and amplify everyone's cognitive abilities by being present. Which is probably why I get dragged into brainstorming sessions. Now, if they would just realize what it is I do, we could all make use of me more effectively.

--

It takes about 30 minutes to an hour to write a post and pull everything through. I don't generally proof read things, though sometimes I will go back and fix a typo. Lately, I've been letting the typos just be in the post. Unless it's something really egregious that would make what I'm trying to say confusing.

Once upon a time, I used to sweat the typos. I also used to agonize over how to phrase things. Now, I just let it all come through however it comes through, sensible or not. It's meant to be written however it's written for a reason. My Earth brother helped me with this by going through his experiences where his language centers got damaged in an accident. He has to live with aphasia, and that means sometimes sounding like his intelligence is much lower than it actually is. That man is a genius and was on track to be an excellent communicator and liaison for the scientific community, yet sometimes he sounds like he's from another planet just learning English. English is often quite broken for him. It was very hard for him to accept that. Now, he's okay with it and uses it to his advantage.

He doesn't know this, but I can telepathically hear the words he's trying to find. I can hear him reaching for them and I automatically insert them where the gaps are when I listen. I don't do this out loud, because that's annoying and rude to do to someone. But when he skips over "the", my brain automatically inserts it there and I hear his speech like this:

He says, "Went to store get fan."
I hear, "I went to the store to get a fan."

Where the stuff in italics is quietly heard in my head.

Well, this post has wandered all over the place. I hope you enjoyed it anyway. I'm having one of those days where focusing is a bit difficult. My father invited me to a rather social dining experience last night, and I didn't get back until it was late. I think I'm still sorting through everyone's energies at the energetic level, so it's like my CPU is running on high. Not even coffee is helping much.

I thank you for your time. Adiamas.

--Kyriel