Cat Serenades and Baggage Claims

Today's post is a journal entry.

Mari, I know you mentioned you had a white cat in the chat and the image you used was a calico cat in your video... Well it seems my reality has fused the two together with a female cat outside my apartment. She's in heat, and at night has been serenading Eddie right below my balcony.

I finally decided to take a look outside when she started meowing yesterday evening, and when I looked down, I saw the cutest little pale calico cat peeking at me from under the bushes. "Hello, are serenading Eddie?" I asked her, and she looked at me straight on with bright green eyes full of curiosity. "Are you who lives here? Where is the male?"

I informed her that, unfortunately, while Eddie is a magnificent specimen, he is not able to create kittens with her. His parts were removed long ago (when he arrived at the shelter before I got him).

She was a very cute cat.

Health wise, I'm at the snot removal phase. Which always sucks, especially when I'm down to the goop in the corners of my lungs and sinuses. But I feel more energetic and can go outside again for walks. Emotionally, I'm feeling better and more stable.

There's been a massive release of a lot of old patterns about romantic relationships the last couple of days--this is coming from both worlds I've lived on (as you say, Mari, it's not all sunshine and rainbows and unicorn farts in 5D). The primary experience being released is someone being disrespectful to me and then not apologizing for it or recognizing it. And that could not have happened had the experience on Saturday night not happened, where I got to revisit that experience and then have someone apologize for their behavior.

You'd think that's such a small thing, but... Seraphel often didn't apologize when he'd do shit like that. And maybe once or twice did a romantic partner on Earth do that. So to have someone actually say they were sorry for being disrespectful. That's a big deal to me. That means a lot. That means so much, that all the baggage I have around that has been getting dumped and released.

Because finally, here is someone who will take responsibility for themselves. Finally, here is someone who really is worthy of my trust and who is actually safe to be vulnerable around. Mari, you really proved yourself back there. You really did. I know now without a shadow of a doubt I can let my guard all the way down and it's okay.

You've never had to impress me with your prowess, by the way. I love you for who you are exactly as you are. I don't expect anything of you other than for you to be yourself in that regard. I love how your abilities express themselves as they are expressing themselves right now. I love how you go about things. It's different from me, and I love that you're starting to see the astral with your physical eyes. That is amazing to me.

I love how your mind is. I love how when we talk, your mind is exploring all over the place, and I'm often just along for the ride. Who knows what strange and wonderful adventure we'll end up going on together? I never know, and I love that. I love how your energy feels. It feels so light and soft and feminine and magical. I just want to cuddle it and protect it and cherish it.

At the same time, there's a part of you that feels like fire. Like "fox fire", or kitsunebi, magic fire...not elemental fire. And I have a very fuzzy memory of how your eyes look when that fire gets in them. You could pin me to a board with that look...or melt me into a puddle.

I feel like your abilities express themselves differently from your average Taygetan. I feel like you have abilities that most Lyrians don't experience. I think your space birth worked, but maybe it's happening differently than people expected. Maybe being born in hyperspace doesn't only make you remember past lives. What if it actually augments your soul's natural abilities? And what if your soul has unique abilities that Lyrians around you aren't able to reflect to you as an example? And what if your growth path is such that you come into your abilities more slowly and therefore have better command over them?

In short...what if everyone's expectations of you were wrong?

I'm enjoying watching you come into your own so much. You yourself are a very unique being. There's no one like you. There's no one that compares to you.

I'm glad to have you as my closest friend. I love you.

I thank you for your time. Adiamas.

​--Kyriel